Join for FREE | Take the Tour Lost Password?
[x]

deviantART

 

Twenty One Little Notes on... by ~tk-nvme:icontk-nvme:



Twenty One Little Notes On Stones: I Was Here But You Weren't -
The Statue Over There Did Not Move And Said, Do You Have A Physical Defect?



How do you get someone to blow themselves up ? cargo trains of thought go rotten in

New York five days later in New Jersey fleshy milk trucks are overturned these things

no longer matter: reality is memory-making and those memories are all looking

towards you there is nothing but a mechanical device within yet !it does! feel wrung out

and rather rotten but on the other hand (time) it does not matter when nothing exists

on either side there is the same thing and there is nothing to begin with – this sickened

sweet palpable hurt beats beats beats and watch as the freight bleeds systematically

with every push, draining itself – people are nothing! I am and you are nothing

and not at the same time [the we does not exist] the actuality is as old as the ability to

perceive existence is as old as the thing that exists there is nothing age is

inconsequential and experience is a land mine

the answer comes to silence the question

and bridge nonexistential analytical conduits

conscious chameleon of technical messages

and I take it far enough: there is no human nature

Query - I want to reach out for this land and it makes a point of not looking because it

does not have eyes yet it does have a peak and a balance to the budget there is still

quite a large deficit there is not balance, minus that with eggs of the universe so how can

you

answer what is in another person's eyes when every head is a different world !space travel

of course! their mind is a black hole, void and sucking [there is nothing etched out] this

is what we are now you all find it amusing but the most dangerous man in the world

does not exist and if he does then he remains in one's own head see the camera flash

and in that second there is nothing except the omen bullet already on its way to you
©2006-2009 ~tk-nvme
:icontk-nvme:

Author's Comments

Full title in the piece.

[This had a longer and more involved introduction. But it made the piece seem overtly what it is, not what I think it should be; necessarily.]

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconcataplasia:
Bulrog, this is a giant monster coming to eat the universe, but stops for a second to belch and then we all ran away.

What is ment by that is this poem represents something massive, with a lucid quality that attacks on the fringes and edges with statements of irrational intentionality, with a nasty whip around using some good old fashion Dasein
:icontk-nvme:
Do you like it? What did you think of the formatting, did you "get" it, etc etc etc
:iconesatw-vicky:
This is almost more of a dramatic monologue ? no. but it reads like a stream of conscious. I would really like to hear you read this.


And of course most of it goes way over my head but the 2nd thing I thought of was that pixies song The first thing being "oh no it's long!").

Now I am going to go write. I always do my best pieces after being inspired by something you had written.

--
I like to pretend that you belong to me, just to play with the idea, but of course I know you don't.
:iconsaracen-moor:
Well then.

Did I like it? Was it a good read? Do I continue to go back to it? For pleasure?

Yes, yes, yes, no.

The formatting is reminiscent of the beginning of a news broadcast.
There are more than 21 lines. Which makes me look for the too oft broken lines.
The physical representation of the thoughts is likened to a 'box of delights' (book by John Masefield)
The existential theory is very well represented, but as I think that it is simply an excuse to study something, and that life itself is naturally existential, it always comes over as being 'snobby'.

BUT (and thats a big butt if ever I saw one)

I do like it:
Here is the obvious tk trademark imagery:
...cargo trains of thought go rotten...

...and watch as the freight bleeds systematically
with every push...


The middle flows as a.. a... cargo train of thought.. meandering up and down the hills and stopping at various points, with no clear subject. That's good though.

I love the
you
out there, on its own. Very succinct delivery.

The end is very clear - if in fact so clear as to be ambiguous. It could be political. It could be personal. It is, in fact, existential - bearing in mind the rest...

I have missed masses of stuff, like the mechanical device within and the we do not exist (we do and so do they)

S x

--
~livingpoetsociety*penpushers

Don't forget to be kind to strangers.
For some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it.
:iconmiseria-cantare:
Yay!!! I finally made it back to dA and what do I find but all my favorite deviants have abandoned their accounts! but not you, thank goodness you're still working. You're so talnted I would hate to see it go to waste.
This is so good. You've gotten even better!. gosh im just so thrilled to see your stuff again.
:heart: so glad you're still here
:hug:

--
In the place where long grass opens, the girl who waited to be loved and cry shame erupts into her separate parts, to make it easy for the chewing laughter to swallow her away.
-Beloved, Toni Morrison
:icontk-nvme:
the original had 21; i think my text editor prog broke it up when i was doing stuff


the real editing is much better.


it's supposed to read like a news broadcast


i was taknig an existentialism course this semester



mechanical device: heart

the "we" does not exist: lack of connectivity, a theme in many modern works


WE do and so do THEY: WE all exist and we can be connected and sometimes we fool ourselvers into thinking we are connected (i use fool loosely). THEY represents the outsider mentality, thinking there is some knowledge that "they" hold that the ones they observe do not, thinking that there is some connection that they are aware of or even the lack thereof, which represents a superior sort of complex.... bird's eye makes you feel high.
:iconsaracen-moor:
We is an expression of joint oneness. I love 'we' as a concept. I think 'we' are good.

I like the news broadcast style. It fits very well... I have a poem in a book at home that you should read - it is from made up from headlines..

I got the 'heart' thing, but didn't have time to write it up... Liking this poem more on subsequent reads..

S x

--
~livingpoetsociety*penpushers

Don't forget to be kind to strangers.
For some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it.
:icontk-nvme:
look at what saracen-moor said, and my reply to him. read it over, and take your time. it's not really that long.

Details

May 16, 2006
2.4 KB

Statistics

10
1 [who?]
181 (0 today)
13 (0 today)

Share

Link
Thumb

Site Map